Eglin Air Force Base has deployed 100 new shills in /r/btc They typically make shitposts In these highly up voted threads They target posts mentioning Jihan Wu, or Roger Ver And also Craig Wright, AKA "fake Satoshi" So we have successfully manipulated public opinion? Make them think SegWit2x is an altcoin My Führer The miners The miners have all migrated to Bitcoin Cash Everyone but Blockstream has abandoned the Core 1x chain Everyone except Greg, Luke, and Matt, get out What the fucking FUCK guys?! What the fuck am I paying your dumb asses for?! We censored /r/Bitcoin and banned anyone who promoted big blocks We even paid off Bitfinex to call Bitcoin Cash "Bcash" All the major Core developers work for Blockstream Gregory Maxwell, Luke Dashjr, Matt Corallo, Pieter Wuille, Jorge Timón We completely controlled Bitcoin's development! And the entire fucking Bitcoin ecosystem just moves to a different chain?! My Führer, our chain is crippled with 1 MB blocks, we're a laughing stock We gave them SegWit, we told them it was a block size increase! My Führer, they see right through our bullshit, it's no use Bitcoin Cash was supposed to be a fucking shitcoin altcoin And now it's the chain with the most proof of work?! And now it's the chain with the most proof of work?! We told them that miners don't matter We spun up thousands of Bitcoin Core nodes And now Nakamoto consensus is fucking up our shit?! We sold fucking hats, people put [NO2X] in their Twitter usernames! And now we have 8 fucking megabyte blocks on Bitcoin Cash?! Luke even said blocks should be 300 KB! ASICboost, Antbleed, UASF, NO2X, none of it worked! They can finally buy their fucking coffee I was supposed to be the king

I made hashcash! Bitcoin is hashcash extended with inflation control! Why did I ignore Satoshi's email I bought my first Bitcoin at the top of the 2013 bubble! And you so called security experts lost all your Bitcoins in MtGox! Tone Vays said Bitcoin Cash would trade under a dollar! Now it's trading at 033 BTC and pumping hard We are witnessing the fucking flippening! Don't worry, I diversified our portfolio into Dogecoin AXA is going to want their $76 million back The Bilderberg group is going to be fucking pissed We need to liquidate all our assets Sell the rest of the hats Tell Samson Mow not to come into work tomorrow, I'm deleting his Twitter Tell theymos his last paycheck will come in the mail on Monday Someone HODL me, I'm gonna cry